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Sometimes we all fall down: But its up to us and ourselves to pick ourselves up from the ashes

I have had the toughest three months with my medical issues. Being extreme stomach pains and intensified headaches. Which has halted my writing altogether as the extreme pain didn’t allow me to focus and write properly. I was then put on a new stomach pain reliving medication, hooray right. NOT. Its been hell. I am in hell with it. It relieves my pain by a smudge but the side effects has made me into a completely zombie and very weak at times. Plus I don’t have much of an appetite anymore. Plus I have been dealing with wisdom teeth. Plus the horrible news is I should be getting my gallbladder removed but can’t cause my immune system is compromised and I am ill 24/7 365. Plus my body is very weak no matter how healthy I try to get it to a point it to be in. I am having surgery on Thursday to get a Laparascopy to check on everything. I am strong and things. But am scared a little on what they will find out. But I will “Never give in, Never back down”-BVB. I know I am strong and I will pull through.

I haven’t been writing at all because of my medical issues and the death of my grandpa. The death of my grandpa was REALLY hard on my cause I had to see my grandpa on his last days slowly die on his death bed. It was the toughest shit I ever had to see in my 22 years of life. My grandpa was my rock and inspiration to do things such as what your reading. He means the world to me. He is WWII veteran, fought for my country, and worked as a citizen for his country with numerous mill, etc jobs to raise his family. He took me in as his own even though I am not blood related to him. I thanked him for all he has given to me before dementia took his life and memory. But these last few months have been tough on me writing wise cause I couldn’t find my inspiration to write again. It was lost cause of the depression and deep hole I was in from my grandpa dying and my medical issues giving me hell. But Its all because of band named, Black Veil Brides that has not only once but twice resurrected my love and passion for my writing again from the “Ashes”. I am deeply and utterly in love with their message and who they represent themselves as a band.

Andy said something during the CreativeLive class he had guest spoke for Kevin Lyman that helped me revamp my love entirely for writing. He said along the lines that you need to believe in yourself, keep working mentally everyday on your passion, don’t give in to the people who don’t believe your passion, surround yourself with people who DO believe in your passion, most importantly believe in yourself again. If you want to catch what he said because I don’t want to spoil the magic of this positive interpersonal advice at 26:58-29:15. Reason why I don’t want to spoil it cause of the magic it will give to people who are struggling like I was with my writing and getting my low lit flame in my heart raging again for writing. Watch the video right here:

I am so thankful, appreciative, grateful, and honored to have a band like Black Veil Brides to come into my life in such a time that I needed to be told the most that “I am going to be okay” “YOU are amazing” even though they do it indirectly. The passion and love they have for their fans makes me honored and grateful that I am meeting them in 33 days and seeing them live. People often forget to realize that behind the band are human beings. These human beings have feelings. That to me alone makes what I am going to do in 33 all to special. I love BVB a lot. I wish them good luck in their career in Black Veil Brides. In all in all, BVB deserves all the great things in life such as awards, etc. I only hope that they can get treated better in the media outlets that are biased towards them and by the public eye. But slowly it starts. If they can convert one hardcore disbeliever(me) into a huge supporter and huge fan of theirs. Then they are doing everything right as a band. I have faith they are going to kick some donkey with #BVB4. So LONG LIVE BLACK VEIL BRIDES. NEVER GIVE IN. NEVER BACK DOWN. Even when live has you down in the darkest of moments always know people have your back no matter what. I am blessed to tater tots to have all this love and support. Thank you. You have no idea.

And Andy; you have no idea how much your advice means to me. It resonated with me deeply that I am writing again withing the 72 hours i first watched that video. You are an incredibly intelligent human being. I am so glad to have you as a new inspiration to look up to in my life cause your a man of legend(Say the same to your band brothers). I hope some day you can get praised for your work and honored instead of heckled and biased by media critics for BVB and your other “Passion Project”. I love you lots. You have completely changed my life on how I look at things and how learn now. I am happy that I named my cat after you. Loki Andy is my lovely toilet buddy kitty(He is a joy to have in my life). I hope BVB can “Become the biggest band in the world someday” or at least rule the world. Cause right now I think its just beginning. I am glad to be a fan of yours now(that is all that matters now). You deserve what I have to say to you in 33 days face to face vis-a-vis. BVB more than deserve it.

Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I hope I can get back to my mojo again. I am glad I am back at to writing. It feels good. To all my fans. I love you so much. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. Plus understanding. So thank you. I love you all very much. NEVER give in. No matter what shit and life brings you. Go forth and conquer.

-Mariah L. Hanna @PotatoBVBQueen 10/6/14 *Check About Page

P.S. EAT ALL THE TATERS TO KICK HEART DISEASE IN THE DONKEY REAR. 😉 ❤

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My whole life I have battled medical issues: but I overcame every obstacle.

Hi, my name is Mariah. I have gone through so many medical issues through out my life. When I was young I gotten sick more than the average kids while growing up. I suffered and overcame Attention Deficit Disorder. I took medication for it till I was a sophomore in high school. I didn’t like the side effects what the medications gave me. One in particular gave me sleep insomnia and screwed up my sleep clock schedule. That medication is called Concerta. I don’t condone parents of kids who have ADD or ADHD to use medications first to solve the problem. Since kids of young ages have rapidly growing bodies and to have this chemical in their bodies is just wrong. I would seek different ways to cope with the ADD or ADHD. Here’s how I have managed to stay off the medication 10 years. Its hard for one to stay on task. Especially if you have ADD or ADHD. Ones brain is constantly active 24/7; 365. I have found that coffee and tea was a natural stimulant to keep one focused with ADD and ADHD. Sitting in front of the classroom was a great way to stay focused with what was going on the white board and what the teacher or college professor was doing. I find that in daily life people can slack off and things. I have this get everything important done when your an adult before play. If you have this mindset. You will be set to be successful in life. 

I have had female problems throughout my life. I just learn to deal with them. I was diagnosed with Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome last year after years of suffering horrible periods and cramps. I tried everything for them exercise and everything in the book but I finally consulted my doctor about it. If you want to know this personal story contact me on here or via on twitter @PotatoBVBQueen. I am open about my medical things but some of it to a certain extent. 

I also was bullied too thought out my life. With my learning disabilities and other outstanding disabilities. I have learned to stick up for myself. Bullying is not okay. I hope one day it is abolished. I got called several names. To many to mention here. I will make a post later on about my bullying story. But anyways, on too my biggest medical obstacle I have ever overcame and still am struggling till this day. 

I was enjoying my last year of high school the best I could. I was overjoyed that I made it to my senior year of high school cause the doctors told me that I would never receive a high school diploma or go to college. I DID BOTH. Not to mention I got accepted into my nursing program. With being diagnosed with ADD. Until one day in November of 2009 changed my life forever. I was seemingly ordinarily teenager like everyone else listening to music like Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold, Atreyu, etc. Doing ordinary teenage stuff until that day came I got excruciating headaches. The pain is almost undescribable. Some days I just want to sleep the whole day through or just lay in my famous awkward position that semi helps. lol. But as the title of this blog aptly puts I overcome every obstacle. The pain in my head hurts so bad that I sometimes pass out or black out from intense pressure that has built in my head. I have gone to 10 Neurologists and one Neurosurgeon. I have been admitted 12 times in the hospital for my severe headaches. Some of the doctors think its “All in my head” and I am simply their to get pain killers cause they think I am pain killer addict when simply I am not. I go their for answers but simply get turned down cause I am an unsolved mystery. Until I met my one neurologist. Dr. Dunn. He has helped me tremendously and has gotten me on a path to probably solving or helping cure some of my headaches. 

To everyone that is reading this. I have rare headache syndrome called Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension. 60 people in the world have this rare syndrome. 1 in 50,000 births have this rare disease. Its potentially life threatening. I got diagnosed with this last year as well. It forever changed my life March of 2011 of months of going through hell with the doctors and the headaches weren’t getting any better. But I stayed positive and strong throughout the whole thing. Music, family, and friends helped through that difficult time in my life. 

I had to get a spinal tap with this as well. Plus several CAT SCAN’s and MRI’s. Luckily one of the MRI’s should my rare syndrome. I was born with tiny veins through out my body. It is extremely difficult to retrieve blood from me for tests. 

Plus with my headaches I have had other medical issues as well that has been associated with my severe headaches. I have severe Gastro-intestinal issues, GERD( Gastro-Esophageal Reflux Disease),  and feet pain issues which is called Athromylagia. 

The doctor said I have microscopic CSF( Cerebrospinal Leak) in my head somewhere since their is no one in my spinal column. I had to take a test and my left nostril was negative and my right nostril was positive for the leak. 

I have to be knocked out for my next test before I have brain surgery to fix the leak. The ENT has to pack my nostrils and pour contrast up their to see if they can find the leak that way if they do. Then they will set my brain surgery. I am fully confident that the doctors are going to help cure some of my headache pain. I am very strong and positive about everything. 

I also have taken several medications for my severe headaches but I have become immune to them that I have just resorted to suffering with the pain. Pain medication just coat the issue. Plus one can get addict. So I have forced myself to cope and deal with all these issues with out any pain medication what so ever. I would like to say my headaches are like a hangover but without the alcohol involved. 

I also was diagnosed with Chronic Migraine Daily Syndrome. If I have to life with a life long headache for the rest of my life, I sure as hell need to make it great, positive, awesome, amazing, and phenomenal experience. Cause what is life with a self wallowing pity party. With my headaches it has inspired me and also helped me find what I want to do with my life in the future. 

I want to become a disabilities psychotherapist for the elderly and children of all ages. My life’s mission is to help others and make others feel good about themselves. If you are reading this you are amazing. Know someone out their loves you for who you are. 

I also want to add that the pain that I have gone through for 2 plus years has gave me some depression. I have had my bouts with suicidal thoughts but I have overcame them.

I am so glad that I have gotten this all blogged out. If you have read this blog. Thank you for doing so. I plan on doing great things in the future with all this. But right now I am currently on a Speed Bump in my life. Everyone has them. This won’t be last one neither.

I live by the saying “Shit Happens” shit does happen for reason. Either in a funny way or a bad way. I say it numerous times a day. Plus my other famous saying “You get shit in one hand and roses and tulips in the other” lol.

On my end note. I want everyone that has read this think to themselves. Be grateful for what you have in your life. Cause someone else out their has it worse than you. Don’t take shit from no body. You all are amazing. Know that somewhere out their someone loves you. Some way somehow we are all connected together by common roots and grounds. Life has brought me beautiful things to see in life. I don’t take nothing for grant.

I wish all of you the best in health, life, and endeavors. Vibes from Potatoland. Know that YOU are worth it and best of wishes. 

With lots of love, 

Mariah L, Hanna 8/11/2012 *Revised 2/9/2017 

Words by Mariah L, Hanna: If you steal from me I will haunt you down and make you give my words back and potatoes.