I have had the toughest three months with my medical issues. Being extreme stomach pains and intensified headaches. Which has halted my writing altogether as the extreme pain didn’t allow me to focus and write properly. I was then put on a new stomach pain reliving medication, hooray right. NOT. Its been hell. I am in hell with it. It relieves my pain by a smudge but the side effects has made me into a completely zombie and very weak at times. Plus I don’t have much of an appetite anymore. Plus I have been dealing with wisdom teeth. Plus the horrible news is I should be getting my gallbladder removed but can’t cause my immune system is compromised and I am ill 24/7 365. Plus my body is very weak no matter how healthy I try to get it to a point it to be in. I am having surgery on Thursday to get a Laparascopy to check on everything. I am strong and things. But am scared a little on what they will find out. But I will “Never give in, Never back down”-BVB. I know I am strong and I will pull through.
I haven’t been writing at all because of my medical issues and the death of my grandpa. The death of my grandpa was REALLY hard on my cause I had to see my grandpa on his last days slowly die on his death bed. It was the toughest shit I ever had to see in my 22 years of life. My grandpa was my rock and inspiration to do things such as what your reading. He means the world to me. He is WWII veteran, fought for my country, and worked as a citizen for his country with numerous mill, etc jobs to raise his family. He took me in as his own even though I am not blood related to him. I thanked him for all he has given to me before dementia took his life and memory. But these last few months have been tough on me writing wise cause I couldn’t find my inspiration to write again. It was lost cause of the depression and deep hole I was in from my grandpa dying and my medical issues giving me hell. But Its all because of band named, Black Veil Brides that has not only once but twice resurrected my love and passion for my writing again from the “Ashes”. I am deeply and utterly in love with their message and who they represent themselves as a band.
Andy said something during the CreativeLive class he had guest spoke for Kevin Lyman that helped me revamp my love entirely for writing. He said along the lines that you need to believe in yourself, keep working mentally everyday on your passion, don’t give in to the people who don’t believe your passion, surround yourself with people who DO believe in your passion, most importantly believe in yourself again. If you want to catch what he said because I don’t want to spoil the magic of this positive interpersonal advice at 26:58-29:15. Reason why I don’t want to spoil it cause of the magic it will give to people who are struggling like I was with my writing and getting my low lit flame in my heart raging again for writing. Watch the video right here:
I am so thankful, appreciative, grateful, and honored to have a band like Black Veil Brides to come into my life in such a time that I needed to be told the most that “I am going to be okay” “YOU are amazing” even though they do it indirectly. The passion and love they have for their fans makes me honored and grateful that I am meeting them in 33 days and seeing them live. People often forget to realize that behind the band are human beings. These human beings have feelings. That to me alone makes what I am going to do in 33 all to special. I love BVB a lot. I wish them good luck in their career in Black Veil Brides. In all in all, BVB deserves all the great things in life such as awards, etc. I only hope that they can get treated better in the media outlets that are biased towards them and by the public eye. But slowly it starts. If they can convert one hardcore disbeliever(me) into a huge supporter and huge fan of theirs. Then they are doing everything right as a band. I have faith they are going to kick some donkey with #BVB4. So LONG LIVE BLACK VEIL BRIDES. NEVER GIVE IN. NEVER BACK DOWN. Even when live has you down in the darkest of moments always know people have your back no matter what. I am blessed to tater tots to have all this love and support. Thank you. You have no idea.
And Andy; you have no idea how much your advice means to me. It resonated with me deeply that I am writing again withing the 72 hours i first watched that video. You are an incredibly intelligent human being. I am so glad to have you as a new inspiration to look up to in my life cause your a man of legend(Say the same to your band brothers). I hope some day you can get praised for your work and honored instead of heckled and biased by media critics for BVB and your other “Passion Project”. I love you lots. You have completely changed my life on how I look at things and how learn now. I am happy that I named my cat after you. Loki Andy is my lovely toilet buddy kitty(He is a joy to have in my life). I hope BVB can “Become the biggest band in the world someday” or at least rule the world. Cause right now I think its just beginning. I am glad to be a fan of yours now(that is all that matters now). You deserve what I have to say to you in 33 days face to face vis-a-vis. BVB more than deserve it.
Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I hope I can get back to my mojo again. I am glad I am back at to writing. It feels good. To all my fans. I love you so much. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. Plus understanding. So thank you. I love you all very much. NEVER give in. No matter what shit and life brings you. Go forth and conquer.
-Mariah L. Hanna @PotatoBVBQueen 10/6/14 *Check About Page
P.S. EAT ALL THE TATERS TO KICK HEART DISEASE IN THE DONKEY REAR. 😉 ❤