Sometimes you fall down( stay a while), but rise from the ashes to never give in.

Hi. Longtime. No peep. It’s been a while( thank you so much Andy and Joe for my solid staind opening Segway). It’s been since 2018 since you heard from this blog. A lot has changed. A lot has happened within the course of four years. I have decided just to do a catch-up blog piece solely on myself before I dive right into writing about music and other cool jazz things.

Throughout the years I have received emotional and mental abuse from my own stepfather. It got worse when Trump was elected president. It’s caused my stepfather to believe everything the orange douche mc skat turd box spewed out of his fart box every ounce he got attention. My mom and I have been verbally abused for year’s and it got bad for my mom cause my stepfather became a controlling and stalkerish husband at the time. He tried to hire people to stalk and follow my mom around to catch my mom cheating. It got so bad my mom lost several friendships cause of him.

My mom and I during the year of 2020 besides the start of the pandemic which I have vaxxed only covid thing I will post here. Excited to see BVB again in March with MIW and INK with the Trinity of Terror tour. We made our exit plan. We got lucky finding the place I now live in. Besides going through this bullshit. In 2019, I focused on getting my last knee fixed so now I am bionic in both legs with having 2 rods each in both tibia bones. Plus in 2020 and 2021 I had numerous amounts of testing done to test for my autoimmune disease and to get a positive of seeing if there is a possibility of a leak or tiny hole in my nasal cavity that CSF fluid is coming out of. Unfortunately, both came out positive or inconclusive. It’s been tiring with constant doctors appointments. But it’s the best I can do to keep myself healthy.

May 8th, 2020 I was officially diagnosed with my rare migraine disease called Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension. I wish I could have saw BVB and ITM that day instead. Sigh.

December 8th, 2020 my mother and I officially moved out of the toxic house that we were living in. It’s been over a year and one month since we have been out of that toxic house. It took me a while to get well a bit mentally. I am still not 100 percent. I will never be. I am okay with that. I am okay with not being 100 percent ever again. It’s what makes us human. I learned on tik tok of all places that I suffer from complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I also have your roundabout depression and anxiety.

My stepfather was incredibly abusive towards me for the last 4 to 5 months I lived with him. I never caught him being abusive to my cat. But I believe he was cause he flinches every time I pet him. It hurts my soul. He got physical with my mom several times. He slammed a door on me. He threw the freezer door at my face. His last insult to me was when he told me to get the fuck out of his house and never come again. He said it so cold and callously. He also said I was something he just raised.

I plan on getting into therapy but covid has fucked things up. So I receive it online. I just take it day by day just like I do with my chronic illnesses.

I am a warrior. I plan on kicking more ass cause I have been through so much bullshit. I am happy to announce I am 5 months and 3 weeks migraine suppressed after dealing with a migraine volcano since 2009. All thanks to the CGRP protein blocker Emgality one-month migraine shot,(medical science is lit). I also get botox for migraine every three months which is fun(not).

Stay tuned. I plan on doing an album review for Black Veil Brides, “The Phantom Tomorrow.”(no publish date, I am a disabled sloth and still need time on it.) Plus a plethora of things I want to do with this blog. I am happy to finally come out of hiatus and start writing again. :’)

If you supported me from the beginning or whenever. I love you all. Thank you so much. Thank you for sticking by my side while I dealt with personal things. You all are rockstars. With that go kick ass. Drink your H20 like Bobby Bushay wants you to. Eat your potatoes. Never give in. Never back down.

Mariah Hanna aka @chronicpotatobvbqueenwriter šŸ„”šŸ’œšŸ–¤

1/9/2022 *check about for sharing information. Ā© @chronicpotatobvbqueenwriter

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence click this for the hotline and resources

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