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Sometimes we all fall down: But its up to us and ourselves to pick ourselves up from the ashes

I have had the toughest three months with my medical issues. Being extreme stomach pains and intensified headaches. Which has halted my writing altogether as the extreme pain didn’t allow me to focus and write properly. I was then put on a new stomach pain reliving medication, hooray right. NOT. Its been hell. I am in hell with it. It relieves my pain by a smudge but the side effects has made me into a completely zombie and very weak at times. Plus I don’t have much of an appetite anymore. Plus I have been dealing with wisdom teeth. Plus the horrible news is I should be getting my gallbladder removed but can’t cause my immune system is compromised and I am ill 24/7 365. Plus my body is very weak no matter how healthy I try to get it to a point it to be in. I am having surgery on Thursday to get a Laparascopy to check on everything. I am strong and things. But am scared a little on what they will find out. But I will “Never give in, Never back down”-BVB. I know I am strong and I will pull through.

I haven’t been writing at all because of my medical issues and the death of my grandpa. The death of my grandpa was REALLY hard on my cause I had to see my grandpa on his last days slowly die on his death bed. It was the toughest shit I ever had to see in my 22 years of life. My grandpa was my rock and inspiration to do things such as what your reading. He means the world to me. He is WWII veteran, fought for my country, and worked as a citizen for his country with numerous mill, etc jobs to raise his family. He took me in as his own even though I am not blood related to him. I thanked him for all he has given to me before dementia took his life and memory. But these last few months have been tough on me writing wise cause I couldn’t find my inspiration to write again. It was lost cause of the depression and deep hole I was in from my grandpa dying and my medical issues giving me hell. But Its all because of band named, Black Veil Brides that has not only once but twice resurrected my love and passion for my writing again from the “Ashes”. I am deeply and utterly in love with their message and who they represent themselves as a band.

Andy said something during the CreativeLive class he had guest spoke for Kevin Lyman that helped me revamp my love entirely for writing. He said along the lines that you need to believe in yourself, keep working mentally everyday on your passion, don’t give in to the people who don’t believe your passion, surround yourself with people who DO believe in your passion, most importantly believe in yourself again. If you want to catch what he said because I don’t want to spoil the magic of this positive interpersonal advice at 26:58-29:15. Reason why I don’t want to spoil it cause of the magic it will give to people who are struggling like I was with my writing and getting my low lit flame in my heart raging again for writing. Watch the video right here:

I am so thankful, appreciative, grateful, and honored to have a band like Black Veil Brides to come into my life in such a time that I needed to be told the most that “I am going to be okay” “YOU are amazing” even though they do it indirectly. The passion and love they have for their fans makes me honored and grateful that I am meeting them in 33 days and seeing them live. People often forget to realize that behind the band are human beings. These human beings have feelings. That to me alone makes what I am going to do in 33 all to special. I love BVB a lot. I wish them good luck in their career in Black Veil Brides. In all in all, BVB deserves all the great things in life such as awards, etc. I only hope that they can get treated better in the media outlets that are biased towards them and by the public eye. But slowly it starts. If they can convert one hardcore disbeliever(me) into a huge supporter and huge fan of theirs. Then they are doing everything right as a band. I have faith they are going to kick some donkey with #BVB4. So LONG LIVE BLACK VEIL BRIDES. NEVER GIVE IN. NEVER BACK DOWN. Even when live has you down in the darkest of moments always know people have your back no matter what. I am blessed to tater tots to have all this love and support. Thank you. You have no idea.

And Andy; you have no idea how much your advice means to me. It resonated with me deeply that I am writing again withing the 72 hours i first watched that video. You are an incredibly intelligent human being. I am so glad to have you as a new inspiration to look up to in my life cause your a man of legend(Say the same to your band brothers). I hope some day you can get praised for your work and honored instead of heckled and biased by media critics for BVB and your other “Passion Project”. I love you lots. You have completely changed my life on how I look at things and how learn now. I am happy that I named my cat after you. Loki Andy is my lovely toilet buddy kitty(He is a joy to have in my life). I hope BVB can “Become the biggest band in the world someday” or at least rule the world. Cause right now I think its just beginning. I am glad to be a fan of yours now(that is all that matters now). You deserve what I have to say to you in 33 days face to face vis-a-vis. BVB more than deserve it.

Thank you for reading this. It means a lot. I hope I can get back to my mojo again. I am glad I am back at to writing. It feels good. To all my fans. I love you so much. Thank you for sticking with me through thick and thin. Plus understanding. So thank you. I love you all very much. NEVER give in. No matter what shit and life brings you. Go forth and conquer.

-Mariah L. Hanna @PotatoBVBQueen 10/6/14 *Check About Page

P.S. EAT ALL THE TATERS TO KICK HEART DISEASE IN THE DONKEY REAR. 😉 ❤

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Unbroken: The tale of one BVB army members bullying story

Here I am putting BVB in all my major posts again. Will I stop. No.I regret nothing at all. I owe a debit to them. They mean the world to me. I have to admit that they are the only band that’s music that’s covered everything I was every going through at the moment in time. The fact that I was a former of their band and now I love them now makes me love and appreciate them that much more. So BVB for life and BVB forever.

Lets get started on my bullying story shall we. Bullying was very prominent in my life. From family members calling me abusive derogatory names to friends/non friends going behind my back and calling me names for being who I was. I also been bullied by doctors who were supposed to take care of my health needs. To online haters(PFTT Trolls)

My childhood consisted of people treating me abnormally from the get go. I was very slow in the head and still am to this day. I have ADD which I will sit there and think everything through before doing it properly. I have very OCDish ways. I have developed habits to get things done but now days its especially hard to do cause I am now disabled but still I get things done. I will always be the last person to get their assignments in at the end of the day when everyone else was playing/ reading which they were supposed to in the classroom. I would always get called “Slow Poke” “Look at the cow still doing her assignments still” in grade school. I would get bullied because of the fact I had to go to special education classes and I was very overweight still am to this day. I struggle with my weight every day. The kids would snicker and say “Look at those idiots going to the idiot class,etc.” I got that all the way through high school.

Middle school was fun fun. Where kids got to experience PE for the first time in locker rooms. I was very afraid of all these girls that made fun of me throughout elementary school. Girls like to bully behind backs and start rumors for the sake of their gossip. Boys just beat the shit out of each other just for the hell of it. But sometimes those lines get switched sometimes where the boys like to gossip and girls beat the shit out of each other for the hell of it.

During PE I would get intentional balls thrown at my head cause I was in my own world dreaming about bands and being an interviewer/ being my weird self as usual. They would do it intentionally cause I was having fun with being myself. I would get lol’d at if I could not do a certain PE activity. When I broke my foot my freshman year during my last year every to take PE. I thank god for that fateful thing to happen to me.

Sports was a very humiliating experience for me. I would see girls whisper to another girl about me about my weight and how I looked. My freshman year was the last time I did volleyball ever as a manager because the bullying got so bad and the coaches good ole boy system was bring back bad memories for me for when I played volleyball in middle school. My schools coaches run by the good ole boy system. I have seen talent ruined because their parents were not fucking rich in my town. So they put the rich kids in that may not have the talent so their reputations as a coach looking fucking awesome. There are good coaches out there but all the coaches in my area can go suck a big one. 😉

In high school I got called a Nark ass bitch because I told on someone for doing a childish act. I felt like an outcast in that high school. I never was liked by an boy. The only date I ever went on was in 7th grade and that was it. He ran away when I was going to kiss him on the cheek. Gave up on men till now. But now I am happy with being single. People think I am lonely but I am really not. People…..

The times my bullying ever got physical was during break times I would get pushed into lockers on my way to and from classes. In PE several times. I got punched on purpose for no reason at all on the bus and in school. Little did they know. They built a monster that was going to one day show these fuckers one day “Look at me now, now look at yourselves. Now what?” But do it the most positive way possible way possible. Guess what you are reading it. The monster they made me into will one day in the near future will be one of the greatest’s rock and roll journalists on this planet.

When I was in high school I got called a disgrace to metal because metal music was the only thing that was helping me cope at the time. People did not realize their fucking glares at me, their backstabs behind my back, their derogatory terms against me were the fucking reason why I turned forever goth in middle school. I still listen to all the music I listened too middle school. I have forgiven all my bullies for what they have done to me but I will never forget.

When I got bullied about my weight I would be called such as fat fuck, tub a wubba, lardass, fatass, jelly belly, fatso with the retardo, etc.

I have been bullied by doctors. Doctors have bullied me about my weight issues and they think I am a drug addict, hypochondriac, or has a sever case of Munchausen’s disorder. Or I caught one writing in my doctor notes and it read “Its all in her head: Here for drugs.” Never been so humiliated in my entire life. These doctors are suppose to be professional and treat their patients equally. I got the shitty stick on their hand when I arrived to receive help with my life long headaches to only get their oh I am tired and need a nap why are you here go away. I also was told by the doctor that diagnosed me with ADD that I will never graduate high school and never amount to anything in life. Well guess what doctor. I owned you both of those. I got my high school diploma and now I have something I AM FUCKING FANTASTIC at is being a journalist and writing. So doctors that have bullied me take your words and shove it.

To all my bullies my bullies. Wait a minute. I have nothing to say to them only to have a nice life. Cause I have nothing I want to ever say to them. Not worth my time. Ever. Period.

Family members have called me a bitch, weirdo, waste of space, etc. Its horrible how family has to treat each other like that. In the metal and rock and roll community family I never been called those terms. Makes me appreciate and love music that much more.

I have promised myself I will never be like them. I will only do whats right for myself. Bullying is never okay. If you see someone get bullied stand up for them. I never stood up against mine. But now days I do stand up for people. People should not be bullied because of their color of their skin, sexual orientation, what band/artist they listen to, what they wear, what their favorite foods are, or being who they are. People should yet instead love each other for who each other are. We are only human. WE need to live. “Stand up for what you believe in, even if it means standing alone”-Andy Biersack 

Bullying is stupid in the first place. People who bully people need to do something positive with their lives versus picking on people. Its mind blowing the stories I have read about it in the newspapers about kids murdering kids and all this kind of bullshit. The world is going to hell. So stand up if you seeing ANY bullying being made.

Unbroken is the title of this blog article about my personal story about my bullying story. “If we stand together we will be unbroken” Is a powerful sentence one can remember forever. What Black Veil Brides stands for as a band in its message is what my dream team band wanted to be like and its came true. There’s a band out there to stand against this. I know there are several bands out there with similar messages but to have their main focus as to helping kids through bullshit and to have this army to give us a backbone to kick society in the ass is one amazing band in my eyes. BVB will go far in life. I am glad to be on the train with them to see their journeys unfold. BVB is a rarity of the world. I am so glad I gave them a second chance. I never regret once. BVB has changed my life for the better.

If you are getting bullied take Andy Biersack’s “Fuck You, Motherfucker” approach to it and flip them off. ;). Stand up for yourself. Be yourself. YOU are amazing for who YOU are. Always remember “Never Give In, Never Back Down.” cause you can fight this “One final fight fight for this tonight, woah, with Knives and Pens we made our plight.”

BLACK VEIL BRIDES WILL ALWAYS BE OUR UNSUNG HERO’S THROUGH THE THICK AND THIN, THEY HAVE OUR BACKS WHEN NO ONE IS THEIR AT TIMES, THEY MAY THINK THEY ARE NOBODY’S HERO BUT REALLY IN THE END HERO’S COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES BUT OURS COMES IN WARPAINT, BLACK, AND GLAMOROUS.

RISE UP AND CELEBRATE YOUR LIFE

CAUSE

WE SCREAM,

WE SHOUT,

WE ARE THE FALLEN ANGELS……..

NEVER GIVE IN, NEVER BACK DOWN.

IN THE END AS YOU FADE INTO THE NIGHT, WHO WILL TELL THE STORY OF YOUR LIFE

CAUSE “YOU HAVE”

THE LEGACY

BORN FROM A DREAM

ROSE FROM THE STREETS

WITH LEATHER WINGS

WITH HANDS ON DESTINY……………………

CAUSE “IF WE STAND TOGETHER WE ALL WILL BE UNBROKEN.”

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Written By: Mariah L. Hanna

If you steal my words without my twitter handle proper credit in the copyright at the bottom of the page. I will haunt you down. Steal all your potatoes. Issue you a ban slip for potatoes for life. lol. 😉

Copyright @PotatoBVBQueen 10/9/13