Sometimes you fall down( stay a while), but rise from the ashes to never give in.

Hi. Longtime. No peep. It’s been a while( thank you so much Andy and Joe for my solid staind opening Segway). It’s been since 2018 since you heard from this blog. A lot has changed. A lot has happened within the course of four years. I have decided just to do a catch-up blog piece solely on myself before I dive right into writing about music and other cool jazz things.

Throughout the years I have received emotional and mental abuse from my own stepfather. It got worse when Trump was elected president. It’s caused my stepfather to believe everything the orange douche mc skat turd box spewed out of his fart box every ounce he got attention. My mom and I have been verbally abused for year’s and it got bad for my mom cause my stepfather became a controlling and stalkerish husband at the time. He tried to hire people to stalk and follow my mom around to catch my mom cheating. It got so bad my mom lost several friendships cause of him.

My mom and I during the year of 2020 besides the start of the pandemic which I have vaxxed only covid thing I will post here. Excited to see BVB again in March with MIW and INK with the Trinity of Terror tour. We made our exit plan. We got lucky finding the place I now live in. Besides going through this bullshit. In 2019, I focused on getting my last knee fixed so now I am bionic in both legs with having 2 rods each in both tibia bones. Plus in 2020 and 2021 I had numerous amounts of testing done to test for my autoimmune disease and to get a positive of seeing if there is a possibility of a leak or tiny hole in my nasal cavity that CSF fluid is coming out of. Unfortunately, both came out positive or inconclusive. It’s been tiring with constant doctors appointments. But it’s the best I can do to keep myself healthy.

May 8th, 2020 I was officially diagnosed with my rare migraine disease called Spontaneous Intracranial Hypotension. I wish I could have saw BVB and ITM that day instead. Sigh.

December 8th, 2020 my mother and I officially moved out of the toxic house that we were living in. It’s been over a year and one month since we have been out of that toxic house. It took me a while to get well a bit mentally. I am still not 100 percent. I will never be. I am okay with that. I am okay with not being 100 percent ever again. It’s what makes us human. I learned on tik tok of all places that I suffer from complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I also have your roundabout depression and anxiety.

My stepfather was incredibly abusive towards me for the last 4 to 5 months I lived with him. I never caught him being abusive to my cat. But I believe he was cause he flinches every time I pet him. It hurts my soul. He got physical with my mom several times. He slammed a door on me. He threw the freezer door at my face. His last insult to me was when he told me to get the fuck out of his house and never come again. He said it so cold and callously. He also said I was something he just raised.

I plan on getting into therapy but covid has fucked things up. So I receive it online. I just take it day by day just like I do with my chronic illnesses.

I am a warrior. I plan on kicking more ass cause I have been through so much bullshit. I am happy to announce I am 5 months and 3 weeks migraine suppressed after dealing with a migraine volcano since 2009. All thanks to the CGRP protein blocker Emgality one-month migraine shot,(medical science is lit). I also get botox for migraine every three months which is fun(not).

Stay tuned. I plan on doing an album review for Black Veil Brides, “The Phantom Tomorrow.”(no publish date, I am a disabled sloth and still need time on it.) Plus a plethora of things I want to do with this blog. I am happy to finally come out of hiatus and start writing again. :’)

If you supported me from the beginning or whenever. I love you all. Thank you so much. Thank you for sticking by my side while I dealt with personal things. You all are rockstars. With that go kick ass. Drink your H20 like Bobby Bushay wants you to. Eat your potatoes. Never give in. Never back down.

Mariah Hanna aka @chronicpotatobvbqueenwriter 🥔💜🖤

1/9/2022 *check about for sharing information. © @chronicpotatobvbqueenwriter

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence click this for the hotline and resources

Black Veil Brides: Hero’s of the Universe( A raw and uncut article from the emotions of the Potato Queen)

Black Veil Brides has been a band for several years now. I only just this past January 27th, 2013 got into them hardcore due to an unhappy situation I was going through. I in January had to get tested for cancer for the first time. My white blood cells where showing signs of inflammation(which is a sign of cancer or red flag warning which thank god it was the red flag warning) somewhere in my body. Which I was put on several more test’s. But during the time I was getting the tests I had made a time to end my life cause I did not want to live anymore with anymore medical issues and any more medical pain. I already I had at the time 2 severe headache conditions which one was rare. I also had other medical issues as well. The headache conditions is what is causing me to be disabled. I was done being a medical guinea pig anymore. The doctors were treating me poorly. Some bullied my indirectly. So on January 27th I was going to end my life cause I was tired of being in pain and tired of all the medical bullshit I was being put through. The cancer scare is what pushed me off the edge. The fatal mistake I made that saved my life was going through Youtube music section. The music at the time I was listening to was not working. Then I saw the new BVB music video for “In The End” I at the time being a former hater tried to avoid it at all cost but this time fate wanted me to push on the link to the music video. The next paragraph will explain the magic.

I clicked the music video and I being the hater said “Why the fuck did I just push the BVB video.” then all of the sudden Andy spoke to me. I call it the instant Black Veil Brides hater removal two by four being smacked in between my eyes. Andy sang “In the end as we fade into the night, who will tell the story of your…..” I listen to the full song through by the end of the song. I was on ever fucking social media of Black Veil Brides and I was liking and following everyone them through twitter, facebook, tumblr, and youtube.. I was just baptized into a new human being. The strength I was given by the band to fight this hellish battle I am going through with my medical issues. Made me believe their is hope and faith in the world.

Just getting over the realization that the band that I just hated a few seconds before just saved my life cause I planned on killing myself that night when everyone was asleep. What a contradiction I kept saying. I have since put my hater ways behind me. Locked the hater tight shut in a coffin and buried her fictitiously six feet under. The hater I was once before has died and will never be resurrected. Death is permanent. So in the beauty of this. I took my last ever suicide attempt and turned into a deep and ever meaningful love for a band I once betrayed. The only thing I killed that night was the BVB hater I was. Which I am truly grateful and thankful to have done to me. Best thing ever to happen to me EVER really. Doesn’t top me winning fourth place at competition at individual state competition in Boise, Idaho. But its up their with me getting my high school diploma(Fuck you doctor haha 😉 ). Nothing really feels amazing than becoming a BVB army member its literally an life changing moment. My life is now better cause of it.

These guy’s get so much hate its not even funny. I ignore all the hate as much as possible but when the trolls are on every social media site possible post after post with their hate towards BVB its gets pretty tiring. I also hate it when the get called faggots. It just boils my blood when the get purposefully called that every time something really great happens to them. Oh well. You all get the magical “Fuck You, Motherfucker.” I respect your opinions haters but don’t cross the line with your’s. That’s why several BVB army member’s come flocking to you cause you cross the line. Post something intelligent instead of insulting all the time.

Through the months I have been a BVB fan. I have become great friends with numerous people of the BVB army. Everyone of the BVB army is very beautiful inside and out. I like to mention their dedication and love towards a five piece band that forever captivates the world. BVB isn’t just any ordinary band. BVB has all the right ingredients to make one great powerhouse anthemic band to to have mass in masses of a massception of the BVB army supporting them.

The love the band gives to their fans is just awesome and heartwarming. I have gone through probably 4-5 boxes of tissues of BVB fan stories already. I feel their emotions through their posts and it’s an everlasting feeling. What BVB does to their fans not only changes their lives forever it also better’s and brightens their lives for their eternity. With each and everyone of Black Veil Bride’s wisdom and advice to their fans is a lifetime of knowledge and inspiration for that one fan.

Now we come to the clincher of the article where you pull out 4-5 boxes tissues. Black Veil Brides has been really prevalent this month. I seen them live for the first time on October 3rd in Spokane, WA at the Knit. That day honestly changed my life forever. I have no words to fit how lovely BVB was live that day. Forever in debt. But anyways,  I have seen so much hate recently towards BVB on my personal accounts that it has been bothersome. The more I ignore it. The more hate flocks to me. This week hasn’t been the best week at all for my medical issues at all. I haven’t felt good for 3-2 months. I haven’t been eating properly in weeks. At times I feel like giving up but who come to the rescue. Black Veil Brides. They were their every step of the way through all the bullshit I was going through. My medical issues are still kicking my ass. It sucks that not even a doctor can help me at this time. I have been braving the storm and I know I can fight this tough ass battle. All I have repeated over and over again in my head was BVB’s famous lyrics that have inspired the BVB nation. “Never give in, Never back down.” Its hard dealing with day to day daily life dredgers but to know that BVB is on my side in spirit helping me fight this really means a lot.

I have no words to say how thankful and honored I am to be in the BVB army. I wish I NEVER was a former hater all. But no one can erase their past. The past is the past its unchangeable. But the present and future are. So glad I made the drastic change in becoming one of you. You in the BVB army. YOU all mean the world to me. I could not thank you all enough for every tweet and gesture said to me. YOU are all amazing. I love you all.

Black Veil Brides me so much to me now. I am going to be a fan forever. I am so excited to be with you all in the BVB army and with BVB during their many adventures and the long BVB rock and roll party journey ahead of us. BVB has all the cards to be one of the greatest bands of our time.

So Thank you BVB for putting out inspirational, aspiring, thoughtful, helpful, healing, and every word that is positively said about BVB. BVB has helped saved thousands of lives including mine through the whole world.

If you’re planning on committing suicide. No that you are not alone. Know that a saviour is always their for you when you’re feeling alone and to Never give in, never back down. The suicide hotline is 1-800-273-8255. For people who self harm here is tumblr link with major numbers and hotlines for your region: http://insteadofcutting.tumblr.com/hotlines

know that these things are temporary solutions to bigger problems that could have bigger consequences to your health and well being and even death. Know that someone out there loves you and care about you. YOU are worth it. YOU are not alone. YOU are amazing.

I am happy to report that I am now in suicide remission. I haven’t had one single suicidal thought since Black Veil Brides came into my life in January. To know its October now and I know I can make it through even the hellish battles without thinking about suicide ever again. Makes one feel great about themselves. Cause of BVB I am now wanting to pursue a degree in creative writing next year so I can expand my writing and express myself in even bigger ways verses blogging. I plan on becoming an interviewer and writing for rock and metal magazines someday. As Andy said in an interview once “Rock Stars aren’t shit out of the sky” well neither are journalists. LOL. I have worked my ass off so forth to get to here. Its quite startling to me already that I have the inner workings of becoming a great writer. This all inspired and aspired through Black Veil Brides but its up to me to make this happen. Cause I need to make my own legacy and show this world what I made off. If you are reading this. YOU have something that makes you great too. Don’t feel down that you don’t have anything to show the world yet. It will come to you in the most beautiful way possible. Keep your head up high. Stay strong. Be positive. Always remember “Never give in, Never back down.”

BLACK VEIL BRIDES ARE THE MUSICAL BATMAN’S OF THIS EARTH. THEY ARE ARE UNSUNG HERO’S. THEY ARE SAVIOURS. THEY MAY CALL THEMSELVES NOBODY’S HERO BUT IN REALITY….THEY ARE HERO’S IN THE LEGION OF THE  BLACK THAT GIVE US THE TOOLS TO LEAD ON ALEGACY….. NEVER GIVE IN,NEVER BACK DOWN.

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Written by: Mariah L. Hanna

Journalists note: You can have my words but give my words the proper accreditation with my twitter handle in the copyright handle down below. If you dont’s. I will come to your house and steal your potatoes and all your potato made products. Plus your potato knick knacks if you have any. Issue you a ban slip for life from my potatoland and eating potatoes ever again. Been warned. 😉

Copyright @PotatoBVBQueen 10/17/13